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  • About Arthritis
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    woman holding her wrist What Is Arthritis?

    Arthritis is not one disease. Learn about the different types of arthritis, how they differ and why it’s important.

    microbes Inflammation and the Immune System

    Body-wide inflammation is at the root of most chronic diseases — and you may have more control over it than you think.

    Patient talking with nurse Newly Diagnosed With Arthritis

    A new arthritis diagnosis can be overwhelming. These tips can help.

    • Understanding Arthritis
    • Arthritis Types
    • More About Arthritis
    • Where it Hurts
    • Related Conditions
  • Treatments
    Common Topics
    Woman holding shoulder Webinar: Touch Therapies for Pain Management

    Learn the evidence behind popular touch therapies for arthritis, including what to try and what to avoid, for how long and when.

    Managing Arthritis Care Costs

    Learn the basics about health care costs and financial tools available to you.

    Man with head in hands on bed Webinar: Arthritis Fatigue Causes and Solutions

    Learn the various causes of arthritis-related fatigue and strategies to combat weariness.

    • Treatment Plan
    • Drug Guide
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    Woman with upset stomach Microbiome, Gut Health & Arthritis

    Microbiome, microbes, microorganisms – these terms may be confusing, but the types of bacteria living in and on our bodies can impact arthritis. Learn what helps or harms the microbiome and the health of your gut and discover dietary changes that can make a difference. This episode was originally released on January 19, 2021.

    man exercising Stairs Workout Demo

    Strengthen your leg muscles and improve your stability to make going up and down stairs safer and easier.

    woman consoling another Arthritis and Mental Health

    Learn about the connection between arthritis, depression and anxiety and how these conditions can make your arthritis worse.

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    2023 JA Family Summit

    Learn about the National Juvenile Arthritis Conference, a place for families to connect, share and learn.

    JA Camps

    The Arthritis Foundation’s JA camp programs give kids with arthritis and related childhood rheumatic diseases the chance to make lasting memories.

    Juvenile Arthritis Volunteer

    • About Juvenile Arthritis
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    Transforming Clinical Interactions

    The Live Yes! Arthritis community connects patients with others online and in-person for support and education, and encourages patients to play an active role in their health care.

    Partners 4 Patients with Arthritis

    The Arthritis Foundation recently launched an initiative to build stronger relationships and increase recognition of our most engaged practices.

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    See how we're aiming to address the growing shortage of arthritis specialists, especially in under-served parts of the country.

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    OACS Forum Series

    The Osteoarthritis Clinical Studies Forum Series features OA thought leaders from across the globe discussing the future of how the disease can be treated to improve patient outcomes.

    man bandaging boy's knee Conquering Childhood Arthritis

    The Arthritis Foundation is mobilizing patients and their families to engage in studies comparing the effectiveness of treatments for juvenile arthritis and funding research for more options.

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    Capital hill Action Center

    Take action today - use the resources here to learn who your elected officials are, what opportunities we have to advocate from the comfort of your own home, federal and state legislation, and more!

    LiveYes! Insights thumbnail Live Yes! INSIGHTS

    Share your experience in a 10-minute assessment to be among those changing the future of arthritis.

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    You may have arthritis, but it doesn't have you. The Arthritis Foundation’s one-of-a-kind podcast. Hosted by patients, for patients.

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I Hate Arthritis. But I Love Someone Who Has It.

By Alex Brightman

If you had told me 10 years ago that part of my life would be driving my wife to a doctor in Mineola, Long Island, once a month because of her arthritis, my very first thought would be…

“Someone wanted to marry me? Awesome!”

My wife has spondyloarthritis. It’s a disease that causes inflammation of the joints. At its mildest, it’s irritating or even itchy. At its worst, she’s described it as “a million tiny fists punching me all at once.”

There’s no real cure for what she has, but there are treatments that help with the pain, stiffness, and stress that comes along with it.

I’m really proud of her for dealing with it like a champion.

But I’m also sad for her. I can’t help it. I love her. So I feel for her.

I’m an actor and writer, so a big part of my career and life revolves around sympathy and empathy. I’m also a person who loves a problem to solve. If you give me a bunch of Ikea parts and the instructions ... you’ll have a perfect Kolbjörn in a few hours.

When my wife first started having chronic pain, I tried to empathize, but it was no use. I’ve never felt chronic pain before. So I tried to sympathize — but honestly, it just didn’t feel useful. “I think I understand how you feel” can only take you so far.

So I tried to look at it like a problem that needed solving. I would offer massages, back rubs, moving the heating pad from room to room, and even looking for balms and creams that could potentially penetrate deep enough to ease her discomfort.

I quickly found out that I was a bit unequipped for this.

What I also realized is that spondyloarthritis doesn’t just affect her; it affects me too.

It’s a weird and vulnerable (and sometimes selfish-seeming) thing to admit. But it’s true.

Because of what’s going on with my wife, my life had to change. My schedule had to change. My expectations had to change. And unlike certain things that ebb and flow in a relationship, this was something that wasn’t going to go away.

So we had to figure it out together. And we’re still figuring things out almost two and a half years later.

What does it mean to support someone with arthritis? To me, it means you must understand that everything is going to be a learning curve. When we walk our dog together (when she feels up to it), I have to walk at a slower pace so she is comfortable. When our food is delivered to our building, I know that I am going down to get it when she’s on the heating pad. When she needs to go to a doctor’s appointment, I have to plan our day around it (renting the car, driving her there, waiting for hours at a time, driving her back, dropping back off the car and so on).

One thing I didn’t know about arthritis was that it can affect a person’s eyes and eyesight. There were days where she could barely see because the inflammation was so bad and she had to wear sunglasses inside. And while it was certainly a fashion-forward look that I think she pulled off masterfully, I was learning more and more about just how much arthritis has a grip on.

All of these things started to add up quickly in the beginning and it started to feel overwhelming. And when I started to feel overwhelmed, I felt guilty for feeling that way. “Why am I frustrated when she’s the one who’s truly in pain?”

It took me a while to understand that it’s perfectly OK to feel overwhelmed by your partner’s ailments. In fact, it’s probably good to feel that way. It means you care about them and it’s hurting you that it’s hurting them.

Abnormal circumstances call for abnormal solutions. You adapt, you evolve, you deal, you struggle, you succeed — just not always in the way you might have imagined.

It’s been years since the first flare-up. There've been great days (the Arthritis Foundation’s Jingle Bell Run being one of the big ones) and not-so-great days (discomfort and pain so bad that a light blanket hurts her).

Yes, life had to change a bit, and it may continue to change.

But the one thing that hasn’t changed is my love for her. I am in awe of my wife’s strength.

It’s not hard to love somebody with arthritis.

It’s hard to watch them go through it.

It’s hard to go through it yourself.

It’s hard to not be able to empathize.

It’s hard to not be able to solve the problem.

So much of it is hard.

But it’s really easy to love someone with arthritis. Here’s why…

Arthritis is something my wife has. But it’s absolutely not the thing that defines her.

The list of things I fell in love with my wife for is a growing list — growing rapidly.

We’re stronger than ever and ready for whatever comes our way.

I love a wonderful person with arthritis. And I will continue to do so as long as she lets me.

Actor and writer Alex Brightman lives in New York City with his wife, Jenny, who has spondyloarthritis.

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Every gift to the Arthritis Foundation will help people with arthritis across the U.S. live their best life. Whether it is supporting cutting-edge research, 24/7 access to one-on-one support, resources and tools for daily living, and more, your gift will be life-changing.

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Help millions of people live with less pain and fund groundbreaking research to discover a cure for this devastating disease. Please, make your urgently-needed donation to the Arthritis Foundation now!

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Become an Arthritis Foundation member today for just $20 and you'll receive access to helpful tools..... and more.

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Honor a loved one with a meaningful donation to the Arthritis Foundation. We'll send a handwritten card to the honoree or their family notifying them of your thoughtful gift.

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The Arthritis Foundation is focused on finding a cure and championing the fight against arthritis with life-changing information, advocacy, science and community. We can only achieve these goals with your help. Strong, outspoken and engaged volunteers will help us conquer arthritis. By getting involved, you become a leader in our organization and help make a difference in the lives of millions. Join us and become a Champion of Yes.

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Live Yes! INSIGHTS


Give Just 10 Minutes.

Tell us what matters most to you. Change the future of arthritis.

By taking part in the Live Yes! INSIGHTS assessment, you’ll be among those changing lives today and changing the future of arthritis, for yourself and for 54 million others. And all it takes is just 10 minutes.

Your shared experiences will help:

- Lead to more effective treatments and outcomes
- Develop programs to meet the needs of you and your community
- Shape a powerful agenda that fights for you

Now is the time to make your voice count, for yourself and the entire arthritis community.

Currently this program is for the adult arthritis community.  Since the needs of the juvenile arthritis (JA) community are unique, we are currently working with experts to develop a customized experience for JA families.

How are you changing the future?

By sharing your experience, you’re showing decision-makers the realities of living with arthritis, paving the way for change. You’re helping break down barriers to care, inform research and create resources that make a difference in people’s lives, including your own.

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Meet Our Partners

As a partner, you will help the Arthritis Foundation provide life-changing resources, science, advocacy and community connections for people with arthritis, the nations leading cause of disability. Join us today and help lead the way as a Champion of Yes.

Trailblazer

Our Trailblazers are committed partners ready to lead the way, take action and fight for everyday victories. They contribute $2,000,000 to $2,749,000

Visionary

Our Visionary partners help us plan for a future that includes a cure for arthritis. These inspired and inventive champions have contributed $1,500,00 to $1,999,999.

Pioneer

Our Pioneers are always ready to explore and find new weapons in the fight against arthritis. They contribute $1,000,000 to $1,499,999.

Pacesetter

Our Pacesetters ensure that we can chart the course for a cure for those who live with arthritis. They contribute $500,000 to $999,000.

Signature

Our Signature partners make their mark by helping us identify new and meaningful resources for people with arthritis. They contribute $250,000 to $499,999.

Supporting

Our Supporting partners are active champions who provide encouragement and assistance to the arthritis community. They contribute $100,000 to $249,999.

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